MY STORY ​

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I'm 56 now — a sober woman, a mum of two, a coach, and an author. For years, I hid my age, my drinking, and often my truth. But now, eight years sober and knee-deep in menopause, I’ve decided it’s time to celebrate this phase of life and wear the crown of a mature woman proudly.

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How It All Started

My recovery journey began in 2013, though I didn’t recognize it at the time. I stopped drinking in my early 40s, shortly after having my youngest child. She was three, my son was six, and I was stuck in a loop of detoxes, diets, self-criticism, and hangovers. My diaries from that time are full of “shoulds” — lose weight, cut back, be better — punctuated by despairing entries about how fed up I was with drinking and how tomorrow would be the day I stopped. But I always circled back. In hindsight, two things were true:I was far too hard on myself.I still believed that wine — my so-called reward — was helping me.

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From the outside, I looked like a typical mum, drinking what many of my peers did — a few glasses of wine during the week, a bottle or so on the weekend, maybe borrowing a cigarette or two from my husband. I wasn’t drinking vodka at breakfast, but I had a very dodgy off-switch.I didn’t realize it then, but I was in the thick of a life stage that leaves many women depleted and vulnerable. The shift in identity, the relentless demands of motherhood, and the loneliness all compounded — and wine became my shortcut to relief, my sparkly “medicine.”

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Though I had everything I thought I wanted — a family, a home — I was exhausted. My husband worked late in another city. I had little support, no nearby family, and no village. I felt isolated and trapped, unable to get out, unable to rest, unable to breathe.I missed my younger self, my freedom, spontaneity, and creativity. And somehow, wine became the bridge back to that girl, or so I thought.It wasn’t every night, but the rules I set — “only one glass,” “just weekends” — were constantly broken. I never made it through a list of drinking rules without self-disgust tagging along. My glass of wine at 5 p.m. wasn’t a treat. It was a lifeline, a pause button, a false fix.I had no idea what self-care actually meant. I sprinted through my days, waving away red flags, clinging to wine as my reward.

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Stopping — Goodbye Booze

Stopping wasn’t easy. I was scared. How would I cope without my "helper"? What would happen to my relationships? How would I unwind? What if I changed too much?I white-knuckled it for a while — box sets, chocolate, distractions. But slowly, the days added up. I found blogs, quit lit, and online friends. Habits shifted. The boulder got lighter.The real shift came when I started treating sobriety not as a loss, but as a form of self-protection. I built a life around care, not control. I learned about self-compassion, treated myself kindly, quieted the inner critic. I no longer needed alcohol to rest, reward, or numb.And I finally saw alcohol for what it is — a legal but harmful, addictive drug marketed shamelessly to women as a form of self-care. It’s not. It disconnects us from our real needs and keeps us stuck.

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Love Sober

I decided to train as a coach to help other women struggling with alcohol and went on to create the Uk's first Sober podcast, and have written two books on female empowerment, holistic wellbeing and creating alcohol free lives we can love. My work can be found at lovesober.com

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Mothering Teens, Facing Hormones

These days, I parent teens, not toddlers. My children are neurodivergent and as it turns out- so am I! .We’ve faced loss, redundancy, a pandemic. The rollercoaster continues. But I’m present for it now. I’m not hungover. I’m not pretending. I’m not numbing. Perimenopause started around 43. I didn’t realise how much better I could feel until much later — after misinformation from a GP and plenty of hormonal upheaval. But now, I’m getting to grips with what I really need. From stress management to healing my inner child, from boundaries to creative flow — it’s all part of the sober toolkit. 

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Queenager Energy

What I didn’t expect was a new self to emerge. She appeared in the woods, during therapy, on my yoga mat. She came out as I trained as a yoga teacher, walked through grief, and survived home-educating teens.This new self is like my teenage self — full of imagination and hope — but now she’s got boundaries, she can advocate for herself. She is a warrior. A Queenager.It wasn’t a reinvention. It was a return. A homecoming.

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Nine Years Sober — And Counting

Now, nine years into sobriety, I can say this: recovery tools are life tools. They’re wellbeing tools. They’re mental health tools. Being alcohol-free is the foundation beneath everything else — and it's what allows me to cope, connect, and celebrate my life as it is and curate a life that nurtures 

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The Work I LoveToday, I love working with women in midlife who are walking their own healing paths. Whether through coaching, writing, or community, I’m here to support the journey toward wellbeing, joy, and empowerment — through menopause and beyond.Because we deserve not just to survive this chapter of life — but to reign in it.

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I would be honoured to walk through this journey with you. 

Love Kate x 

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